From day one...my breastfeeding journey!

On Friday: October 10, 2014, I became a mom to the most handsome little brown boy I had ever seen. Since I was adopted, my mom was one of my biggest supporters to the idea of breastfeeding. She never got to experience that and she wanted to make sure I did! It was VERY important to me that I breastfed as it was something I always dreamed of doing. On October 13 (day 4) we visited our pediatrician for the first time. She was my pediatrician as a child and I absolutely love her and recommend her to EVERYONE! While there, she asked me how Charlie was latching and being brand new to this experience, I figured any problems I was having at this point were just as much me as they were him, since we were both learning. At this point I was not having any pain, cracking or bleeding, and I didn't realize that Charlie was not eating well. After I answered her she responded with "I just asked because he's a little tongue tied". I had absolutely no clue what that meant, that it could or needed to be fixed, or it was something that would take such a drastic toll on breastfeeding my sweet baby!

Between that appointment and the next (day 11) it got increasingly more painful to feed Charlie. I was struggling with the time he was taking to feed with seemingly no satisfaction in them. One night after a feed I realized I had a chunk of my nipple hanging and ready to fall off. I found out later these are called milk scabs, and are some of the most painful things to occur from breastfeeding. I was in so much pain on my right side, that I was exclusively pumping because trying to get him to latch was unbearable. One night I was trying to get him to nurse around my family, and a member of my family was on her second breastfeeding journey with a baby just 2 months older than mine, and was willing to help me. We went back to one of the bedrooms where I could get comfortable and calm to latch Charlie on and start to feed him. He finally latched on and seemed to be nursing well. He was a sleepy babe (happy to starve, not good) so after 45 minutes or trying to keep him awake through the feed I finally took him off. He screamed. He was not well fed, full, or satisfied. She knew there was something wrong since she had sat back with me the whole time while feeding and she asked if I'd be okay if she latched him on to feel him suck and see if it was any different. I was so emotionally drained at this point and so desperate for any kind of answers or relief, I said absolutely! (I still don't think this is that weird...haha) As soon as she got him to latch she knew there was something wrong and went ahead to look for a lactation consultants number in town. She had never used one and was living out of state at the time, so she just looked online.

After we left, she sent me a screen shot of a website she found of someone who could help me. I looked at her message and ignored it. It was too much work and I didn't need the help. It would be okay. Then a day later when things continued to get worse, she sent me her number linked, so all I had to do was click it and call. I still ignored it for a little while. Finally on day 11, one week since his first appointment, I called that number. It was Monday morning. On the other end of the line, a woman named Lisa picked up. I started to tell her some of the things going on...cracked and bleeding, feeding forever and not seeing satisfaction, pain, and exclusively pumping on one side. I told her that we had a circumcision scheduled that afternoon and she informed me that instead we needed to go get his tongue tie revised. She told me to just let them know when I got there and it wouldn't be a problem, and then she scheduled an appointment with me, but I wouldn't be able to see her until Friday that week. She gave me a few tips of what to do in the meantime, and told me it would be alright.

That afternoon we went to get his tongue tie revised and he slept right through it. It was the easiest procedure, quick, and hardly any blood. Charlie continued to sleep until I was instructed to wake him to nurse and when he did, there was an extreme difference in how it felt! I was ecstatic. But that certainly wasn't the end of it. We got through the rest of that week and looked forward to seeing Lisa on Friday. I was exhausted, frustrated, upset, and reminded my husband more times than I can count that I did NOT want to result to formula. I really really wanted to successfully breastfeed and I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the emotional toll that would come from "failing" at this. So we fought through it and we made it to Friday.

When we got to Lisa's office, first she weighed him. He was still at a 12% loss of his birth weight. It was day 14 (2 weeks) and he should have been at the least, back to his birth weight. She assessed lots of things, a few being Charlie's tongue tie revision, mobility in his tongue, how much he was transferring from the breast (oz he was getting at a feed), and how long he nursed. It was a very long road ahead of us that included 2 different pills to help supply, supplementing with formula until I pumped enough to use that instead, pumping 8-10 times a day (after each feed), and CST with our pediatric chiropractor! After 4 long weeks of meeting with Lisa for both weight checks (until we bought a scale) and follow ups, between two visits (1 week I believe) he gained 12 oz! Lisa determined he was transferring enough, that my supply had increased and he was nursing well! No more supplementing for us! I was still on supplements for my supply for several weeks after that and then slowly weaned off of them! I was one happy momma!

In the process, I learned SO much about the beauty of breastfeeding and what kind of bumps in the road one can run into! I felt like I had hit them ALL! (I hadn't, oversupply is a thing that I had never experienced and definitely is a bump for some!) So going into my journey with Isaiah, I was hopeful and excited! I couldn't wait to tackle all the same things with the new recourses and knowledge I had gained!  With Charlie, I had to weigh him so often and I NEEDED him to be gaining weight. Because of that, later on I felt like I couldn't truly just enjoy him being tiny and newborn and breastfeeding was stressful for those first few weeks/months. I was so looking forward to just enjoying every moment with Isaiah, not having to worry so intently about him gaining weight and checking so often on his weight. Since tongue ties are genetic (thanks hubby) we were almost certain Isaiah would have the same issues Charlie did. But this time, we were prepared! We knew who to talk to and when, and how to stay on top of it. I scheduled a prenatal visit with Lisa and we were set!

Isaiah's delivery was very different than Charlie's! I was in active labor for less than 6 hours before he was out with little to no medical intervention! I had no epidural and labored like I would have at home, all on my own. It was magical and I was so in love with his birth story! I was on such a high when he was born that I know played such a huge roll in my milk supply! I had OVER supply! I couldn't believe it was happening to me and I was ecstatic! I had to see a different pediatrician than my own for his tongue tie revision (that's a story for another day) that I was not happy about! But it got done, and that's all that mattered to me at that point. Since Lisa had a prenatal visit with me, we never had to play catch up with the problems. They were assessed, addressed, and handled right away. I started on CST with our chiropractor and we were set!

At 2 months (after vaccines) Isaiah got sick. With a big brother in the house, we figured it had everything to do with the extra germs Charlie was carrying around, and the fact that cold and flu season were just around the corner! When he first got sick and was extremely congested, he would refuse to nurse. After a few days of that happening I had lost quite a bit of my supply since I was lazy and didn't pump. (I HATE pumping, and since with Charlie I had to, I never wanted to with Isaiah unless it was necessary!) Now, 2 years later, I absolutely give the credit to vaccinations. Isaiah would go the entire first year of his life basically, being sick. And that is not an exaggeration. The first time he seemed to be healthy was just before his 1st birthday when we traveled to Hawaii. We celebrated his first birthday and maybe a month of being healthy and the very next week he landed himself in the ER with walking pneumonia. It was beyond terrible. In that time he had a second tongue tie revision, this time done with a laser as it was posterior rather that anterior (under the tissue rather than on top). My supply suffered for a little while until he got back a full appetite and then nursed basically non stop! Just like with Charlie, just a week or so after his first birthday, we weaned. Both of the boys seemed very ready to wean at a year and did so very quickly. That milestone is when I get a little bit selfish and am ready to have my body back.

I am extremely proud of every part of my breastfeeding journey, as it has taught me more than most people ever learn. Breastfeeding is something I am extremely passionate about and aspire to have a career in one day. I want every women I encounter to feel as accomplished as I did in their journey to successfully breastfeed, even if every odd is against them! Kalia has been a completely different path than the boys and one I am extremely grateful for! She was tongue tied just like the boys and also had a severe lip tie, but nothing was urgent with her. I got everything revised more so for preventative matters rather than necessity. I still believe whether right away or down the road though, it would have been necessary to do so! She is my chunky little babe and nurses like a champ! As long as she doesn't get sick like Isaiah did, we are on a good path and it will continue well! I have gained confidence lately and allowed myself to help my first time mom friends in their breastfeeding journeys if they have inquired. I ALWAYS suggest seeing an IBCLC as they are most knowledgable when it comes to these journeys, but while reporting to "mine" I have helped several friends of mine in recent months come to a place of accomplishment and success in their breastfeeding journeys, and for that I am most proud. I have watched friends of mine feed off of solely my confidence in this stage of life and just have enough want to make it work and watch their babies gain weight and eat well! I absolutely LOVE this subject and encourage you to be as educated as possible before birthing your own babies! Knowledge is power and the more confident you are in breastfeeding, the more likely you are to be successful and LOVE it too!